Chuck Norris

Happy 70th Birthday Chuck!

Yesterday was Chuck Norris' 70th birthday and as a tribute to him, I decided to put some Chuck Norris jokes on my Facebook. Little did I know that around 11:15 PM last night, I would sitting in my living room with all my roommates trying to read the jokes through my tears and jolts of laughter. I could barely contain myself!

You know when you laugh that hard or see someone else laughing that hard, you either join in their laughter without know what they're laughing about just because you think it's so funny that they think it's so funny or...you stare blank-like at them wondering what they had in their cereal that morning, if they've taken Benedryl in the last hour or somehow lost all brain power to control themselves?!? Well, the reactions were mixed from my roommates.

Here were my favorite jokes:

Chuck is so tough, he can make a fish drown.

At night the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck is so tough, he only needs to knock down one bowling pin because the others faint.

Chuck knows were Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the world down.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms with only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes, ever.

For some reason, this last one is my favorite....

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

I think the reason I like these jokes so much is because they have much an air of dry humor. I think the funniest things are when you have to be witty to understand the joke. I hope my future husband and his family have good sense of humors! If they don't, they might have a hard time understanding my family!

Lunch break over, back to work....